Of course, how to save this marriage depends on the issues that “this” couple is trying to deal with. But, most problems revolve around three common area; constant bickering, sex and money.

Here are 4 things that you must NOT do, if you want to remain married to your spouse.

Don’t Make Statements that Includes the Words Always or Never

You “never” clean up after yourself. You’re “always” late. You “never” want to have sex. You “always” spend too much money.

If you are looking for advice about how to save this marriage, first be sure that you are not making these broad, generalized statements that are almost certainly “not true”. Then share this information with your spouse. If he or she is making statements of this kind, it needs to stop.

Not only is it unhealthy for your relationship, it’s psychologically unhealthy to “think” in this way. Everyone makes mistakes “sometimes”, but not “always”.

Don’t Argue About Money

Money is not that important. Yes, you need financial security, but unless your spouse is supporting some kind of addiction, the purchases they are making are likely necessary.

Set goals. Create a budget. See a financial advisor. Get credit counseling. But, arguing needlessly and constantly over money is an indication that you and your spouse never took the time to agree on necessary expenditures.

Agree on these things, before it becomes a problem. People who habitually buy non-necessities are looking for “quick fixes” to underlying psychological problems. Get some counseling or read a self-help book.

But, in order to save this marriage, don’t argue about it. Communicate and come to an agreement.

Don’t Use Sex as a Weapon.

The best way to ruin your marriage is to refuse sex as a punishment for some other behavior. Both men and women do this, unthinkingly. Instead of allowing good sex to heal the hurt, they refuse to feel better, turning their backs on the one thing that could save this marriage.

A good sex life is a key to a happy sex life. If you don’t believe it, if you have a very low sex drive, consult your doctor. Sex is a natural part of life.

It’s relaxing and should be enjoyable for both parties. It’s a way to keep and stay in touch with each other. Physical touch is a psychological necessity.

It falls right behind food, water and shelter. If you feel it’s unnecessary, get counseling.

Don’t Let Yourself Go

Here, I mean, don’t forget about your appearance, just because you are married. When you look and feel good, you’ll feel better about yourself and have better relationships.

Staying in shape and paying attention to grooming should not become a part of the past, just because you got married. We may love each other, regardless of the way that we look. But, it’s hard to love ourselves when we don’t look our best.

You may be able to save this marriage, simply by learning to love yourself. It’s hard to love others, when you don’t love yourself.

A question that I am commonly asked by men interested in pursuing a mail order bride is how much they cost. I am sorry to burst your bubble but it is simply not possible to purchase a mail order bride off the internet or though any sort of catalog. To do so would be considered human trafficking and is illegal as well as immoral.

The term “mail order bride” is a label that has sort of stuck that refers to women that are open to cultivating a relationship and ultimately marriage with men foreign to their home country. Yes, once upon a time it was possible to arrange a marriage between yourself and a woman from a foreign country “sight unseen” and have her travel to your country to become your wife. This wasn’t uncommon in decades past when it was unheard of for a man to raise children alone and if his wife passed away at an early age leaving him with children to care for. The children went to be raised by family members or into orphanages until the father could find a suitable wife and the family unit was restored.

These days there are laws that prevent human trafficking and the true “mail order bride” is a thing of the past. In order for a woman to move to your country even with the intent of marriage it is necessary to prove that there is a genuine and deeply loving relationship between you and your “mail order bride” fiancé. Proof needs to be in the form of letters, emails, phone records and pictures of the two of you together, preferably showing some sort of affection.

These laws and regulations were passed not only for the safety of women worldwide who sometimes fell into the hands of dangerous men who’s only intent was to use or harm them, but also for the safety of the men who sought love abroad. It is much more difficult for you, as a man, to be scammed and deceived by a woman who is only looking for a meal ticket or a green card in your country if there are governmental checks and balances in place that include background checks, documentation, medical examinations and face to face interviews before a fiancé visa will be approved.

Of course, if you are asking approximately how much it would cost you to romance a lovely Russian or Ukrainian mail order bride and eventually marry her, the simple answer is that it shouldn’t cost you a whole lot more than it would than if she lived just down the street from you. The things that you would spend money on are different but the total amount spent is about the same either way.

In your relationship with a Russian or Ukrainian mail order bride most of your money will be spent when you travel to meet her, although the cost of air travel can be quite reasonable if you know where to look. The cost of translation services, if you don’t speak a common language, can add up but can also be kept a minimum if you are wise. The cost of gifts and flowers are common to both a foreign girlfriend and one that you might meet locally.

Meanwhile, if you calculate how much it might cost you on a weekly basis to date a woman locally you will see that it’s easy for a dinner or two a week, a movie or a few drinks out to add up rather quickly. A long weekend away could easily cost as much as a round trip ticket to Russia or Ukraine and you will find that typically women in your own country have considerably more expensive tastes and expect more expensive presents than a Russian or Ukrainian woman.

Overall, you might find that the cost of romancing a Russian or Ukrainian “mail order bride” is equal to or less expensive than a relationship with a girl right down the street from you. With a little insight and common sense you might find that pursuing a romance abroad makes even more sense than you might have formerly believed. So don’t let money concerns stand in your way of finding true love.

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For years men have been seeking foreign brides to marry and bring to the U.S. Canada etc. Foreign brides are also known as mail order brides, the term “mail order bride” is a joke to someone that has gone through the process, in reality there is no such thing as a mail order bride. You will not see a postal truck backing up to someone’s home and delivering a mail order bride and all of her luggage, it’s not that simple.

By law you must meet your future bride in person, and that will usually mean making a trip to her country, the filing of many documents, and then waiting for approval for her to enter your country, and this is just the hurdle after you find the foreign bride you want to marry.

The first step in finding a foreign bride should be deciding what country your search should begin in, chose a country where you like the culture, the people, the beauty of the women, a place you would like to visit etc., if you prefer Russian women, then by all means go to Russia, if you prefer Latin women go to South America.

Colombian women have a world wide reputation for being some of the most beautiful women in the world, however you have many other countries to choose from.

About the beauty of Latin women, here is how the 2008 Miss Universe contest played out.

• Miss Universe 2008: Miss Venezuela – Daya Mendoza
• 1st Runner-up: Colombia – Taliana Vargas
• 2nd Runner-up: Dominican Republic – Marianne Cruz Gonzalez

There are several ways to find and marry Latin Women, Russian women, Asian women etc.;

1. You can join a full service marriage agency that will set up appointments with
their female clients, a good agency will provide translators etc.

2. Join online matchmakers where you pay a monthly fee to e-mail other members.

3. Place an ad in the local newspaper advertising for a wife.

4. Make some online contacts in the country you prefer, it’s not difficult, then just go on a vacation, you will meet more honest decent women using this method that you will any other method, go to malls, supermarkets, parks, you can meet many women this way, you will meet many non-agency women, many women not listed on dating sites etc. find your lodging, find a translator and your on your way, you can also use method No. 2 and try and meet a few ladies online as a back up and a way to learn about her city, country, and recommendations for lodging etc.

There are also a lot of ways to get scammed by women from any of the listed countries above.

BEWARE, along with the home loving, loyal, sincere, honest women you will meet, you will also meet many scammers. Here is a hint how to avoid a scam from women you meet on the Internet or in person, if they ask for money… run! It seems the older guys wanting a 30+ yr. younger wife just can’t seem to say no, and bam, their money is gone and so is the girlfriend.

If your 50 or 60 yrs. old and wanting a 20 yr. old wife, (don’t laugh, this happens often) ask yourself, “what does this hot young women want with me?” The answer will always be, “a way out of the country and money”.

Traditionally, the age difference for a successful marriage to a foreign wife has been 10 – 15 yrs., that can even be stretched somewhat if the two are more compatible in likes and dislikes, but it may also take longer to find a compatible wife.

Are you one of those people that hates dating? Do you find yourself settling in an ok relationship, just because you hate to date? Then you are among many singles who are frustrated. Here are some

Here are 3 surefire way to get yourself fed up and hating dating:


1. Stay home and chat online all weekend instead of going out. That way, you can say you met people but really didn’t meet anyone.

2. Go to a nightclub. See who you can meet and talk to. You will probably meet someone who had a few cocktails, or you have had a few yourself.

3. Make excuses such as “there’s no one out there” or “all the good ones are taken”. According to the law of attraction, this will be a self

Here are 3 ways to have fun dating again!


1. Join an activities club. Find a hobby you like to do, such as sailing or rock climbing. Find others who also like to do it! Meeting others with similar interests will make dating fun again. You can usually find clubs like this online.

2. Go to singles events. If you like to travel, go with a friend on a weekend singles cruise? Either way, you will have a good time. Cruising is a fun and affordable way to vacation, as the prices are all inclusive. And there are so many people to meet. Socialize with people, without feeling obligated to go out with them.

3. Write down your dealmakers and deal-breakers. It’s important to know you’re your needs are in a relationship and what you will not stand for! Be patient. Yes, there is someone out there for everyone.

If settle. You will be so happy that you did! In addition, most of all have fun, whether you are on a date, at an activities club. If you are a fun and successful single, you will be more likely to meet the right one for you!

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I frequently encounter the answer to this question on sites
of conjugal agencies. And always the reason for which the
Russian women are interested in searches of foreign
husbands, are completely various. In my opinion there can
not be, an unequivocal answer, because the reasons which
have induced the Russian women in increasing frequency to
address to the international conjugal agencies and services
of the Internet, very deeply and its roots begin in the
early 20th century. I shall try to explain the myriad of
reasons.

But, let’s look, at what the modern Russian women
represents, which begins their search of a life companion
abroad. Most have a higher education and they are typically
between 25 to 35 years of age. Many of them have never been
married, or by 30-35 are already divorced and have 1 child.
They are very beautiful, have a good job, own their
apartment or a car, that in Russia, where there is no
concept of CREDIT, it is considered a very large
achievement. Some of my girlfriends work in the field of
advertising, marketing, healthcare (doctors) and Finance
(accountants). Others are teachers and hair dressers. My
girlfriends are sociable, with a good sense of humor, are
kind and are always ready to reach to the aid of other
people. Besides, all of them are magnificent homemakers, in
which they can and love to prepare meals and can sew or
knit. They put on make-up with taste, and they look very
lovely and manicured. I am sure, opinion has it that only
ugly and poor Russian women search for a partner abroad. On
the contrary, frequently it is just the opposite. You might
ask; why such clever, well educated and beautiful women can
not find a companion for life in Russia? What is the
problem? The problem in my opinion, are the Russian men and
the demographic situation, which has developed in Russia. I
shall try to explain.

1. The men in Russia catastrophically do not suffice. To
understand why many wonderful Russian women do not want to
create family with them, it is necessary to recall history.
As far as I can judge, studying the historical literature,
in the beginning of the 20th century, before the October
Revolution, it was successful for young girls and women to
live in marriage and raise children in a proper home
environment. What changed after the revolution? There began
of a turn of reprisals, when the whole estates of men
(officers, aristocrats, scientific, doctors and businessmen)
were confiscated and the men were either executed, or
banished and jailed in Siberia. To authority, came the
people from the lowest layers of society, the workers and
peasants. The religion was announced “atheism for the
people“. Many churches were destroyed, and with them moral
values. A beginning of drunkenness and anarchy emerged.

The Civil war, which lasted 2 years, many Russian men were
lost. After this war, began 30 years of hunger, when whole
families died from famine. In these 30 years many families
remained without support as many men had been lost. The
women raised the children alone. Then in 1941 the WWII began
which killed more than 20 millions men and women. The
majority of loses were, certainly, men (soldiers and
officers). There was not a family in Russia, in which a
father, son or brother would not be lost. A whole generation
of children grew up without fathers and therefore without
proper male guidance. The men in the country began to lack
moral character. A demographic imbalance took place after
WWII. Not only numerically did women begin to prevail in the
country, but also at a genetic level they became stronger
and hardier both morally, and physically. War strengthened
them! The people at that time did not suspect that the
echoes of that war would have such long term effect in
Russia. Now, in the 21st century, the women still recollect
that war, and the loss of many, many men. Immediately
proceeding the Stalin reprisals, not one thousand human
lives were lost due to wars. Nor shall I stop on the
consequences of wars in Vietnam and Afghanistan. I want only
to add, that all this time, from the beginning of the 20th
century and until now, large numbers of men have perished.

2. Change of roles in family After disorder of the Soviet
Union, when all the country was plunged into poverty and
chaos, and the economy is destroyed, the Russian men who
have been brought up by the women, these mommies boys,
simply were frightened of changes in the political and
economic situation. They were frightened that their image of
life has changed, that the state will not provide them
either apartment, or car, as it was in with communism, and
it was necessary to go and earn money by working with the
mind and wit. Many men simply have run into depression,
preferring to leave reality, and drinking vodka and wine.
Since many men do not have much money, they have turned to
making MOONSHINE, at home. So men always had some quantity
of liquor in the house. Of course they preferred to complain
about the government, the bad economy, on the country and
their unfortunate destiny, to drink vodka and wait until all
will be adjusted so somebody will take care of them and
their families. As a result the women must think how to feed
and clothe the family. They have found many ways to earn
money in the new capitalist world. The women have engaged in
sale and purchase of products of food and clothing. Almost
everything, so-called “shuttles”, were the woman. The
doctors, musicians and teachers have found additional ways
of making money. The women “turned”, as they could to ensure
normal life to the children and husbands. To that to their
surprise, this strong generation of the women that has
appeared has resulted in a change of roles in the family.
The women have become the major wage earner of the family.

3. The majority of Russian men are weak and dependent The
man in many families plays a minor role, as he can not even
take care of himself, can not earn enough money to provide
for the family. So the mums of the boys are strong and care
for them so much that by the time they are 18-20 years old
are unable to prepare a meal for themselves, wash clothes or
clean the room. In life these young men are not at all
adapted to independent life. This has been handed down from
wife to wife, for several generations. Certainly, each
mother hopes, that the wife will care for her child better
than she did. Thus, the average age of men entering their
first marriage is 20-24. The brides are, as a rule, 18-20.

4. Economic problems of the family I shall not describe in
detail, with what difficulties the young family faces, in
which the husband constantly requires (demands) “parental”
attention and care from the young wife, while one or both
spouses study in a University. These young couples,
basically live, at the expense of their parents, as it is
impossible to live on the grant in Russia. Thus, a vast
number of families break up even before graduation and have
usually had at least one child by the time they divorce. The
men after the divorce quickly find themselves another wife,
as the choice of young beautiful women in Russia is simply
huge! On the other side of the coin, the woman, especially
if she has 1-2 children; finding a worthy partner is a very
large problem. The Russian men, many of which can not even
take care of themselves, do not wish to take the
responsibility for another man’s child. Therefore, for the
woman with children, even if she is young and beautiful and
has a good education and job, the chances of successfully
living in a marriage are sharply reduced. Besides the women
understand, that even in case of a marriage with a good and
moral Russian man, most all of them are the same. The men
consider it beneath them to help their wives with the
housework and raising the children. If they have brought any
money in to the house, they consider their duties to the
family complete and spend each evening, lying on a sofa, not
giving any attention to the wife and children. So, having
considered all these factors, marriage with the Russian man,
and not many worthy candidates for husbands among them, is
not very promising. Intellectually the woman makes a
decision to remain her whole life without a family, or to
find the companion of her life in another country.

5. Access to the Internet and opening of the Russian borders
to foreigners Due to the political changes in Russia,
Russian women have the opportunity to leave the limits of
Russia. Also, it has become very simple for the foreign man
to come to the country on a tourist visa. The access to the
Internet, in turn, has helped the women to receive much more
information on life abroad and through sites of conjugal
agencies to get acquainted with European and American men.
For the first time women could compare Russian and foreign
men, their moral and family values. So, many women have made
a conclusion that most foreign men are not so strongly
dependent upon women; they are more independent and can
appreciate female beauty and attention. For modern western
men, women are not simple slaves or maids, but a friend,
partner and companion. Independence and family values of
western men, their attitude toward their wives, and the
economic stability of western countries, attracts the
Russian women. In the conclusion, the Russian women are
unique essences. They put family above all else. They are
always ready to give up the most brilliant career to be with
the husband and children. If you will give her a little
attention, love and care; if you will show her that you
appreciate her as the wife and mother at home; will admire
her beauty and mind, she will be there for you until the end
of time. This grateful woman will make you 100 times
happier, if you treat her with diligence and love. I wish
for you to meet YOUR perfect Russian girl that eventually
becomes your cherished wife and partner, in which your life
will be filled with love and happiness!

Good luck to you!

Julia Anderson

Before starting a debate on early marriage you would need to define the parameters that label a marriage as ‘early’ and in what context. In the United States, teenage pregnancies abound meaning that girls indulge in sex as early as 13 years old but there is no marriage solemnized before the girl really grows up and is on her own, usually at the very least, 18 years of age.

On the other hand, in Asian countries and many parts of Africa girls are married sometimes very early on (child marriage) and can be at any age between birth and puberty. Once married, they are sent to their in-laws house as soon as they attain puberty. Thus, they too would be sexually active in their teens but they would be so under the compulsion of “marriage” which is traditionally accepted but is still considered illegal.

Early Marriage – The Benefits

In Asian countries the early marriage and therefore early “sending off” to the in-laws house is read as a benefit because it is easier for the child-bride to adapt to her husband’s house and therefore have better chances for a happy marriage. It also felt that when a girl is married off early she would be protected from evils such as rape, casual sex and the like. In Asiatic countries and Africa where chastity is valued above all else, this seems like a great motivating factor for early marriage.

Last but not least, the parents of girls who marry early would normally give less dowry than when they marry at an older age. In areas where poverty is rampant, this is a matter of survival.

In the United States and other parts of the country there are contradictions when it comes to early marriage, as traditions and ways of life are very different when it comes to this. Being married at the age of 22 is considered early marriage in these parts of the world.

Early Marriage – The Disadvantages

When you look at it from the girl’s point of view, you’ll find that most will say it cannot be termed as anything but a disadvantage. Under the label of marriage in Asian and African communities, the girl is first of all subjected to marital rape as early as 13 years old. Pregnancy follows which owing to lack of nutritious food and adequate rest leads to a number of complications. It so happens that by the time the girl reaches her twenties, she is already spent and looks close to forty years of age due to multiple pregnancies, household work and inadequate nutrition which take their toll on her.

Since the girl is too young and definitely uneducated to even know her rights or what is good for her, she is in no position to make any decisions about her life, spacing of babies, food, rest or sexual preference. In most cases she submits herself to whatever her husband and her in-laws decide without having any say in the matter, thus making early marriage something she has to put up with.

This is also the same type of thought found in other countries who don’t practice childhood marriage, and probably the reason it is not practiced today.

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Thousands of Russian women and Ukrainian women seek their husband in western countries. It’s a well know phenomenon often referred as “Russian mail order brides?

Here are 8 of the main reasons why so many Russian and Ukrainian women, so called “Russian mail order brides? are seeking to become the wife of a “western man?

1. Russian women are traditionally family oriented. Creating a family and sharing harmony in a healthy family life is a top priority.

2. They cannot find a partner with similar values locally. Most available men won’t engage in serious relationships.

3. Despite their high education and ability to develop interesting careers, Russian women will always put their family first. They simply seek a man to share these ideals with.

4. The latest census shows that there are approximately 10 millions more women than men in Russia and former USSR.

5. Since many of the men find work in the bigger cities, smaller cities and rural areas sometimes have a ratio of 3:1 to 6:1 women versus men seeking a life partner.

6. A typical Russian woman dreams of creating a family and being a beautiful wife at the age of 20. As she goes in her mid twenties and sees that her chance to find her “prince charming?in her own country are diminishing drastically; she begins seeking a future husband outside her native country.

7. A similar phenomenon occurs in western countries in the opposite way: men are seeking a family oriented wife without success.

8. While finding a life partner from another continent through newspapers was a very difficult task in the mid 1990′s, the internet brought a whole new dimension to “international matchmaking?and now allows women and men from distant countries to find each other easily.

These are the main reasons why each year, thousands of Russian and Ukrainian women register with local marriage agencies and use international matchmaking services. It gives them the possibility to seek suitable life partners from the USA, UK, Canada, Germany, Australia, France and Norway among other “western countries?

Over the years, many people have used this “Russian mail order brides?phenomenon in a wrong way known as “dating scams?causing Russian women seeking a foreign husband to be labelled as scammers. The vast majority of Russian women seeking a western man for husband are doing so for sincere reasons: simply creating a happy and healthy family.

Russian women live in the largest country on earth, have a very rich heritage and are proud to be Russian. Leaving their family and friends for a man who often lives thousand of kilometres away is a very big decision. It’s natural that they wish to meet a decent man, with a good job and who will provide security to their new family.

Russian women become the wives of thousands of men every year. While this demographic and cultural situation will not likely change for many years, the phenomenon of Russian mail order brides seeking their husband in western countries is expected to keep growing well into the first half of the 21st century.

The Love Scout