Did you ever learn how to date? Are you stuck in being alone and don’t know how to get out there and start dating? Day after day, I get to hear the hundreds of reasons why people can’t get a date. Some of them have rich imaginations. Here are the latest testimonials that start this way: I can’t get a date because

· My mother is Russian and I learned to be cold from her.

· I’ve tried every book and counselor in the world, I’ve done everything there is to do to get a date, and nothing works for me.

· I’m bored with life, and there’s nothing left that gives me energy and makes me attractive.

· The only girl I’ve ever loved married someone else ten years ago.

· I’m forty-five, never been married, and the odds of my finding someone are zero.

· I’m sixty-four and I’ve been married and divorced four times, so who would want me?

To all of the people who said this and to all the people who have many other reasons for not dating, I say, “Just because you don’t know HOW to get a date doesn’t mean that you can’t. If you want to date, and if you want to meet someone special, you can do it!”

To further prove my point, every one of the above people eventually learned to date, and four out of six of them have already met someone and fallen in love. The other two will find their partners also if they keep working at it. Would you like to know how they did it? First, they changed their minds and stopped thinking it couldn’t be done. Second, they took ACTION. What does that look like?

1. You have to DO something.

Do you want to date? Home Alone might be a good name for a movie but it is not a good name for you. You cannot sit there in front of the TV and expect the dating world to come to you. If you feel you are ready to date; if you have your life reasonably together; if you have taken time to chill after breaking up with someone; and if you have your work life on track, then it is time for you to get moving. Lots of dates are waiting to meet you.

2. Forget about the myth of REJECTION.

Dating requires that you put your fears aside. So many great people stop the flow of their dating life and accumulate more and more “proof” that they are not datable or lovable. The “proof,” of course, is all in their imagination. When you gather this kind of false evidence, you either settle for someone you don’t really want, or, don’t go out at all because you think someone might not want you. Letting go of the idea of rejection will set you free. Once you understand that YOU have the power over how you feel about yourself, no one can “reject” you. If someone indicates they don’t want to go out with you, guess what? You don’t want to go out with them. Strong self-esteem dictates that you don’t want to be around people who don’t feel the same.

3. There is success in VOLUME.

Dating requires that you go out to meet people, and if you fear rejection, you are not going to be dating. Here’s the whole idea: YOU HAVE TO TAKE MASSIVE ACTION. If you only get out once in a while, like a party at a friend’s house or a dance somewhere, your chances of meeting someone are slim. You are going to go home—alone—and feel, rejected. A few actions do not usually equal success.

4. The higher the volume of actions taken, the greater the SUCCESS.

If you want to date, you will get out often to different settings. You will be friendly, talk to people, make friends, and create a social life. You will have so much going on, you won’t have time to feel rejected. If someone doesn’t notice you, it will be as insignificant as a can of Pepsi gone flat. Toss it aside. You will have such a volume of prospective dates from all of the actions you have taken, who cares about a fizz-less soda? Here are the three key ways to meet someone:

· The Internet

Dating means you have to use caution, just as you would in meeting any stranger anywhere. Don’t be gullible. Get a background check if you think you’ve met your match. But you can still make use of this effective way to meet someone.

· Introductions

Don’t cling to misguided pride. This is not beneath you…it’s smart. ASK people if they know anyone for you. Ask them more than once and ask more than one person.

· Social settings

You KNOW you have to go places and meet people. Be friendly. Knock yourself out.

That’s your course outline for DATING 101. Do you want to meet someone? Like the disbelievers quoted, you can do it. They did it. I know you can do it too.

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The Roman matron asked Rabbi Yossi ben Halafta:

“How many days did it take G-d to create the world?” He answered: “It took him 6 days, and that is what written in Shmot 31:17: “During 6 days G-d created sky and earth…»

And what has he been doing since then?-asked the matron.

He has been arranging the marriages. This man will be a husband for that women etc- said Rabbi Yossi

But I can also do that!- said matron. – I have lots of female and male slaves. I can easily make up couples from them.

Rabbi Yosef said: You think that arranging marriages is very easy? But for the G-d it is just as hard as to split Red Sea.

After Yosef left, the matron called 2000 of her slaves, ont thousand of female slaves were standing in front on thousand male slaves. Then she said: This man will be a husband of that woman, that woman will be a wife of that man and so on. The marriages were made the same night.

But the next morning just married couples came to matron, one man had a wound on his head, another one didn’t have an eye, a woman had a broken leg. They started to shout: I don’t want that woman! I can’t live with that man!’

The matron asked to call Rabbi Yossi and when he came, she said: Your Tora is right, and what you told me is true.

Rabbi Yossi answered: Now you see! You thought hat arranging marriages is an easy task. And it turned out to be harder then splitting the Red Sea. Pesikta da-Rav Kahana 2:4

Matching people is not an easy task at all. We are all different and of course every person has special views and likes. It is impossible to find somebody who will match you 100%, but you should not worry about that! What is important is to find somebody who will be willing to compromise and solve the problems together.

Many people think it is impossible to create a good family with somebody who is not from your own culture. Our experience has proved that most of Russian women actually have the life values that men wished American women had: they are loyal, sincere, family oriented (doesn’t mean that she only wants to stay at home, but the first priority is always family, many people think that in Russian culture women are housewives, and all they can do is to take care of house and kids, in fact most of the girls have jobs, but they would not put in in front of family interests). Russian women pay lots of attention to their outlook.

All those qualities surely make it easier for a man to find a great match. We believe that matching people is a serious process and it has to be fully supervised by professionals. We wish you good luck in finding your match!

Foreigners are a welcome and desired date for Russian women. However the real dating is not just for a night or two and here is some simple advice to keep in mind when you are approaching a local lady.

Dating a Russian woman is an exciting experience for everyone. Here girls are easy going and charming. They are usually considered “hot” by most foreigners. In local customs, the phrase “Dating Russian Woman” has its reciprocal saying, which is “Dating Foreign Man”. For many of them meeting someone who is coming from “abroad” is an exotic and extremely desired experience.

The reasons are hidden in the background of the Russian traditions, the economic situation in the country and most of all, the perspectives that might be opened for the woman. Usually such kind of relationship is opening brand new horizons for both sides.

Before starting the real matchmaking experience, men should know a few important things about the traditions. Dating Russian women, just like in any other relationship in the modern world and countries with European orientation, has its natural roots. It is preceded by the moment of flirtation when you will try to impress your future fiance. This task is not so simple because Russian women are not so easy to pick up.

Before reaching the moment when you are actually dating, you should know that offensive gestures or offers would never make their way to her heart. When we talk about offensive offers, we are referring mainly to these for paid company services or sex. Knowing how to approach the woman and touch the deeply hidden cords of her heart is an art.

Simply learning the name of the woman and being able to pronounce it right, with a proper Russian accent will not be enough for saying that you have succeeded and she will fall in love with you immediately. After you have predisposed your date, you will be expected to treat her with respect and attention. Dating Russian women sometimes means investing not only financial resources, in order to keep her close to you and interested in your relationship. Small or generous presents will not be enough and you have to show your emotional engagement and attitude.

Passing the initial phases of dating Russian women sometimes evolves in meeting with her family or friends. To most men this is a real challenge for the patience and results in a huge cultural shock. Local people are noisy and ingenious. They are open minded and will be curious what had taken you there. The language barrier sometimes prevents effective communication and is considered a real nightmare for foreigners who are unprepared for such an experience.

The Russian language for example uses a different alphabet. Although many Russian women are ready for compromises you should know that dating Russian women and getting along with their family is a big plus that will take you to her heart and help you stay there forever.

In short, it is a pleasant and rich emotional adventure, especially if you are ready to investigate all the Russian traditions with which you will be involved. The dream might come true only for those who are careful, pay attention to the customs and do not cause offence because being a foreigner is not always an excuse of being discourteous.

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